“It isn’t that you made me uncomfortable. It’s just the opposite. I feel so comfortable with you. It’s like I can tell you anything.” I explained to him, hoping he wouldn’t take my decision to stop kissing him the wrong way.

“How about this, I’ll walk you home tonight. You can take care of business and relax at home and tomorrow night, I’ll come and pick you up and take you out to dinner and we can get to know each other?” Kayde asked.

“You mean like, on a date?” I asked, shocked. I’d been on dates before, but every guy who had asked me out was someone I knew at least a bit, usually from school. I’d never been on a date with someone I didn’t know, it was exciting.

“Yes, a date. Is that ok?” It seemed as if my shock and surprise had thrown him off a bit.

“As a matter of fact, Kayde, I would love to go out with you. How does eight o'clock sound?” I said with a smile as I began to stand on the tip of my toes and kissed him on the cheek.

“Actually, eight isn’t good for me. I was thinking a bit earlier. Like, five maybe? It’s just that I had other plans for the night.” He asked, stammering a bit.

“Yes, five is fine.” I answered with a smile. Unfortunately, the smile was only masking my thoughts. Other plans like what? I wondered. Another girl? Is Friday night his marathon date night? God I hope I’m not setting myself up for some kind of weird hook up night.

“Great, let’s get you home, it’s late.” He took my hand in his. “Jesus, you’re freezing Phee, here, wear my jacket”, he said, pulling his thick brown coat off. He held it op for me and I slipped into it. I couldn’t help but feel his warmth as I put it on.

“Exactly how late is it?” I asked, to cold to pull my phone out of my purse.

“Three o’clock.” He said as he slipped his hand into mine.

Hand in hand we began the walk to my house. We were both quiet, with the exception of the occasional question, or calling the other’s attention to something.

As we arrived at my house, he walked me up to the door, took my hand and kissed it lightly, like a true gentleman. “I’ll see you tomorrow Phee.” He said as I opened the door.

I walked in the house and saw a note from my dad on the stair banister.

“Sorry about the argument Firebird, hope you can forgive me. One day I’ll explain this all to you, but I’m just not sure if either of us is ready. Remember I love you always.

“P.S There’s a plate of veggie lasagna in the microwave for you, if you’re hungry”

I grabbed the note Dad had left for me and shoved it into my purse as I walked up the stairs. As I closed my bedroom door, I tossed my purse onto my bed and then lay on my stomach and grabbed the shoebox that held all of the birthday and holiday cards sent to me by my grandparents. Right there on the top was the stationary they had sent me for my 16^th birthday. Lightly lavender scented, I felt it was perfect for writing an invitation to my 18^th birthday party.

I grabbed my purse and stationary and sat at my desk. I rifled through my purse to find the piece of paper that had their address on it, and found only the note from my father. Frantic, I turned my purse upside down and emptied its contents onto my desk, but my grandparents address was nowhere to be found.

It was then that I remembered I had been fiddling with it in Kayde’s garden before I got up to follow the fire. I couldn’t remember exactly to get there, and I had no way to call Kayde and ask him to help me. One after another, tears began to well up in my eyes and fall down my cheeks. Defeated, I laid my head on my desk and cried myself to sleep.

“What were you doing with the keys?” He asked from behind me.
    I jumped, not knowing he was there. “Hm?”
    “When you were on the phone with your dad? Why were you trying a bunch of keys in that door?” He rephrased.
    “Oh, um, I was locking my dad’s office up.” Something told me I could trust him “My father and I got into an argument last night. He and my grandmother and grandfather on my mother’s side don’t get along.  I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks and I want to invite them, but he won’t let me.  I knew he had their address so I went for a late night walk and got their address off of his office computer.  When I left I forgot to lock up and turned around and ran back to lock up.”
    “Which is when you and I bumped into each other, I assume?” He asked, finishing my story.
    “That’s the way of it, I suppose.”
    “Well, I’m glad you did.  If you hadn’t, I don’t think we ever would have met.”  He said in a low voice.  “You’ve got something on your cheek”, he whispered as he lifted his hand to my face.  He brushed my cheek so softly that I almost didn’t feel it.  The cool air hit my cheek as he pulled his hand away. Simultaneously, I grabbed his hand and moved it to my face and tilted my head, pressing my cheek against his palm.  Again, my face warmed as I began to blush, but this time it just didn’t much matter to me.
    “Your name”, I said, my voice barely making it out of my mouth.
    “Kayde… Conner”, he answered as he tilted my head up to look at him.  His green eyes pierced mine as we looked at each other.
    “Kayde, I’m Phoenix.”
    “I know”, he whispered pulling my face towards his.
    “How?” I whispered.
    “You visit my dreams.” He said quietly, and then just as softly, he kissed me. 
    No! I thought to myself. Bad! Stop! I knew kissing this man I barely knew was a terrible idea, but my body knew what it wanted. My arms reached up and linked together behind his neck and pulled my body closer to his.  I felt as if I couldn’t get close enough.   Softly, I pinched his lower lip between my teeth and then ran my tongue over it.  His arms wrapped around my waist, squeezing me closer to him.  They way our bodies fit together reminded me of the jigsaw puzzles I used to do with my father.  You spend forever looking for the perfect piece, but once you find it, it’s obvious that it belonged there.
    I finally pulled my face away. “This isn’t ok”, I told Kayde. “I can’t do this, not here. Not tonight. I’m sorry”
    “So am I”, he said.  “I was totally out of line. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Of course the creepy dream thing probably didn’t help.”

“Great! Now, where to?” he asked.
    “Surprise me.  All I care about is light and somewhere to sit.”
    “I have the perfect place. Do you like plants?”
    “I love them!” I explained, probably more excited than really necessary.  None of the guys I knew in high school were into plants, which made a relationship hard since they were such a big part of my life and I wasn’t interested in much more.  I mean, the sex helped, but even I couldn’t think about sex twenty-four seven, let alone let it rule my relationship.
    “Well then, let’s get going, shall we?” he asked
    “We shall.  But first, you have to answer something for me.”
    “Sure, go for it.”
    “Are you a serial killer?”
    A shocked look appeared on his face. “No…”
    “Maniacal rapist?” I asked. Better cover all my bases. I thought to myself.
    “Um… No…” Now the poor guy just looked confused, and slightly amused.
    Can never be too careful… “How about a deranged kidnapper?”
    “No.  And that was three questions. And if I was any of those things, do you think I would ever have answered truthfully?” He finished off with a laugh.
    What’s that, self? No, I don’t feel like a complete and utter idiot. Of course not… “Maybe you’re an HONEST maniacally deranged kidnapping serial rapist who kills his victims.” He glanced at me and began to laugh. “What? It could happen... Right?”  I began to laugh with him, realizing how completely ridiculous that I must have sounded.
    We walked in silence for awhile enjoying the night air, rounding corners and crossing streets that were only slightly familiar to me. We came up on what seemed to be an empty lot behind a wooden fence.
    “Ok, ok.” He gasped. “It seems you’ve caught me.  I’m an insane rapist who kidnaps teenage girls and rapes them in my garden of torture! He exclaimed with what could have only been described as a flourish as he opened the gate we had come to and waved me in.
    “This is beautiful, but there are no lights, and probably no benches.” I realized what a terrible idea this was and decided it was a good time to go home. “You know, I think now is a good time to leave. See you around.” I turned to walk away and felt his hand on my arm. No grip at all, just resting there.
    “Wait, please, just give me three more minutes.  Pretend we’re not here yet.  I promise you’ll love it.” The man was practically begging, making me feel horribly guilty.
    “Fine, but if you freaking rape and murder me, I swear I will haunt you until the day your great grandchildren die.” I threaten.
    “Ok, that sounds fair.” He took my hand and led me to the middle of the garden. “Just stand over here, one sec, let me grab a cushion, I’ll be right back.” He wandered off and came back with two large cushions and placed them on the ground side by side. “Ok now sit. Slowly, can’t have you fall on any of the plants. There you go.  Are you comfortable?” He asked.
    “Yes, it’s nice.” I answered, surprised.
    “See? Somewhere to sit, now, light, yes?” He asked, already knowing my answer.
    “Please.”  He sat next to me, a bit to close for my comfort and pulled a lighter and a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.  He lit the corner of his paper and after a few moments, the smoke became strongly fragrant.
    “Sage”, he explained “I come every night to cleanse away any negative energy I’m accumulated through out the day.”  He dropped the small packet onto the ground and I noticed there was a trench in front of us.
    The small hole in the ground began to glow lightly where the paper had been dropped then brightened as it became a fire.  Slowly, the fire crept down the trench, which grew much longer than I saw at first.  It lit up different plants, some which I recognized and some that were new to me.  As I watched it grow, I gasped at the plants, all so beautifully taken care of.  Some I knew, some were new to me.
    My heart began to race and it seemed that the more the fire grew, the faster my heart beat.  I stood up and amazed by the intricacy that must have been required to devise something like this, I began following the snaking flames.  He was absolutely right; I was utterly in love with this garden.

I was about halfway home when I realized that I hadn’t locked up.  I turned around and ran at full speed to make it back to the office.  It’s not an unsafe neighborhood but I would have hated to be the reason that my dad’s office got robbed.  I rounded the corner and slammed into a tall figure that my eyes barely registered before my body.
    “Shit!” I gasped.
    “Hey there, where’s the fire?” asked a deep, unfamiliar voice.
    Shit shit shit! I thought to myself.  Leave it to me to be the first murder of the decade in this town. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going I stammered, as I tried to walk around him.
    He turned towards me, “It’s ok”, he replied with what I was almost positive was a smile, “Most of us pay attention to where we’ve been or where we are headed.  My policy is that it only matters where I’m at, and I can’t think of a better place to be right now than talking to a pretty girl, such as you.”
    Heat crept up my face as I began blushing.  I could feel my cheeks fill with read and tried my hand at willing them not to do so.  “Thanks, but seriously, there must be one other place you would rather be.  At home in bed, maybe?”  Immediately, I began to regret my words, my mouth was always getting me into trouble and now I knew he would think it was an invitation.    
    “Well that depends”, he answered.
    “Oh? On what exactly?” Yep, I was right. Here it comes…
    “On whether or not you’ll be coming with me.” I knew he was going to say that. “But I’m fairly positive that you meant alone, so I think I would much rather hang out here with you.”
    “Here?  On the corner? In the dark? You have got to be kidding me.”  What is with this guy? I thought to myself. I really need to find a way to get to Dad’s office to lock the door.  Crap! Oh! Idea! “Well, ok, but I have two conditions.  One, you have to let me make a phone call so my dad doesn’t flip, and two, we walk to somewhere a bit lighter, maybe with somewhere to sit?”
    “Done”, he agreed. “Do you want some privacy for your call?  I can walk a few buildings down, if you-“
    “No, let me”, I interrupted.  I walked down to Dad’s office dialing the house with my right hand as I fished around for my keys in the purse with the other, as quietly as I could.  Great, no answer. Guess I’ll have to leave a message.  “Hi Dad, look, I know it’s a bit passed midnight, don’t freak. Stop freaking. I’m perfectly fine.” I had tried three keys in the door already without finding Dad’s office key.  “I ran into a friend from school and we’re going to hang out for a while.” I tried a fourth key, which still didn’t work and was beginning to get annoyed with my father’s lack of responsibility when it came to keys. “Give me a call if you want any thing.” I finally found the right key and locked the door.  I hung up the phone and slipped it and the keys back into my purse.

“I don’t understand why I can’t invite them”, I yelled at my father.  “They’re my grandparents!  You could at least let them see me turn eighteen!  I’m the only grandchild they’ll ever have!” 
    “It's just that they’re just not like us, Phoenix.  They have different beliefs and, well, they’re just weird.  I don’t want to call attention from the neighbors.  I know how badly you want to see them, it‘s just not possible this time.”
    “You say that every time.  I’m so tired of being treated like a kid.  I don’t care what you say, they’re my family too, and I’m going to know them whether you say it’s ok or not!!!”  I turned around and ran up the stairs to my room.  He wouldn’t see me cry over this again.
    The problem with my dad was that he didn’t think my mom’s family was a good influence on me.  My mom passed away when I was still very young and as a result, I haven’t seen any one from her side of them family since my second birthday.  They still send me birthday and holiday cards every year, but never with a return address, at my father’s request, of course. 
    But this time, it should be my choice.  I’ll be 18.  An adult.  He simply can’t tell me who I can and can not spend time with any more.  I wish I knew what the big deal was.  I mean, it’s one thing if they were a group of psycho murderous rapist or something, but if they’re just a few weirdoes?  And they’re not even really all that weird from what I understand, just pagan.  They celebrate different holidays, big fucking deal.  They prefer to see the Earth as sacred instead of some guy in the sky that no one can see.  What’s wrong with that? I just don’t get it, you know?
    And that neighbor thing made me crazy.  The nearest neighbors are at the end of the block and I was pretty sure one of them was a prostitute.  Well, ok, maybe not an actual prostitute, maybe just a stripper.  I think that’s enough to keep the “attention” off of us, right?
    I’ll bet my dad has their address somewhere in his files. I mean, he has to, otherwise, how would they know when we move if he doesn’t tell them?  He wouldn’t keep in at the house though, but I’m sure it’s at his office, probably on his computer.  I began thinking to myself.   If he won’t invite them for me, then I’ll just have to invite them for myself! 
    I quit sulking and jumped off my bed, excited about my new plan. I opened up my cherry wood dresser and pulled out my black yoga pants and a black tank top. If I’m going to break into his office, I would do it right. I thought to myself.  I slipped out of my jeans and sweatshirt and into my stealthy, and very chic (if I do say so myself) outfit and put on my lucky tennis shoes. I examined myself in the mirror. Well, if nothing else, I look way hot.  Pleased with my appearance, I decided to get going.
    “Where are you planning on going at eleven o’clock at night?” Dad called from the couch.  He couldn’t see me, luckily, but the man had ears like a hawk.
    “A walk. I need to chill and I can’t do it in my room. I’m sick of the house.” I wondered to myself why I didn’t just decide to sneak out.  I was mad, but I didn’t want to scare him or have him worry about me or anything, I guess.
    “Do you have your cell phone?” He asked.
    “Yes, I’ll check at midnight if I’m not back.” Sometimes I hated how he made me check in, but my decision tonight made me decide not to fuss about it.
    Luckily dad’s office was just a few blocks away.  The night air was dark and damp, almost misty.  The sweet scent of night blooming Jasmine on the fence was amazing for my mood.  This walk was new to me.  The same walk I had made every day all four years of high school was completely transformed in the dark. The street lights are few and far between in this town and there are trees between the sidewalk and the street.  The walls and fences to the right are often covered in vines. Ivy, night blooming Jasmine, Honeysuckle, you almost always found one of the three to your right.  During the way it was an utterly mundane walk, but at night, the chain link fences, the cars, even the concrete seem to all but disappear. The stars and moon combined with the vines and trees turn the mundane into magic, bringing a warm sweet tunnel of trees into the city.
    I turned the corner and there it was. I dug through my seventeen keys (Dad has a bad habit of losing keys and locking them inside of cars and buildings, so I had copies of every one of his keys, for the house, office and car) and found my dad’s emergency office key and let myself in.  The motion sensors on the lights turned the bright fluorescents on, temporarily blinding me.  I forced myself to keep my eyes wide open knowing it would only be a few moments before they adjusted.
    I wandered slowly into my dad’s office and sat down at his computer desk. For a few minutes I just sat there, breathing, preparing myself for what I was going to do, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the deep green picture frame with the word Firebird (Firebird has been his nickname for me for as far back as I could remember) on the top, that I had given him in third grade for Christmas.  It had a picture of me at my second birthday, sitting in my mom’s lap as I opened the present my parents had gotten me.  I shook my head knowing my father’s password and thinking that maybe I should mention it in passing sometime.  It would have been fairly obvious to anyone that broke into the office for computer files that Firebird should be the first guess.
    F-I-R-E-B-I-R-D. Enter.  Now or never, girly. I started browsing files and found what I was looking for. ‘Personal Records and Contact Info’, it read.  I opened it up and right there, virtually yelling at me from the screen, there it was. Just want I needed, ‘Pheo’s Grandparents’.  Quickly I copied down all the info I needed, logged out and left.  I walked out and began humming and then singing to myself. I was going to see my grandparents for the first time in 16 years soon, and I couldn’t be happier.